Seek counseling for past and present abuse. Therapy can be a great help if you are in this situation. Putting up with or putting your parents in the. Share with others what's going on.
Accept that your parents are not going to change who they are. SAFE CARE is an acronym used to help caregivers deal with the difficult situation of caring for an angry and uncooperative aging parent. If a sick, aging parent has always been controlling and manipulative (in other words, toxic), that's unlikely to change. Attempting to care for an abusive elderly parent is fraught with problems and limited options, all the more so now that family members are taking refuge in the same place for the COVID-19 pandemic.
If you've had a toxic childhood, it can be difficult to unlearn the lessons the experience has taught you. It's not that I'm holding you responsible for all the toxic behavior, it's that being kind can sometimes cure things like this. If you recognize some of these toxic traits in your parents, there are ways to cope with them. Dealing with aging parents can also be frustrating, especially if they refuse your help or advice. Elderly parents who give their children the silent treatment have a problem with themselves and may even struggle to deal with loneliness.
Practicing SAFE CARE will not provide ideal solutions to the dilemma of caring for an abusive elderly parent. Patience and persistence go a long way in making conversations productive when it comes to aging parents. We have all heard about toxic parents and the influence they have on their children, whether they are young, teenagers or adults. Older abusers may also have untreated mental health problems, chronic pain, or cognitive impairment as a result of a medical condition, such as stroke, dementia, or substance abuse, that affects their behavior. If an elderly parent suddenly ignores you, either for a disagreement or for another unknown reason, this is toxic behavior.
