You don't have to do it alone. If you discover that a sibling manipulates an elderly parent to the point of committing fraud or mistreatment of an elderly person, contact Adult Protective Services. Be sure to document the abuse to the extent possible, for example, with financial records and changes in wealth. If you can contact your older parent, consider establishing a power of attorney (POA) for them, which you can use to intervene in cases of abuse.
This can cause other siblings to worry about their parents' condition and whether their care needs are being addressed. Helping older people make the right choices for their care needs can be difficult when siblings fight. A sibling may be manipulating their aging parent to follow the brother's wishes instead of following what's best for the older one. From a distance, other members of the family may not be clear about how difficult it has become to care for their brother.
To get your siblings to help with their aging parents, be upfront about the type of support you need, whether emotional, financial, logistical, etc. The job of a family mediator is to analyze these situations fairly and objectively to help siblings find common ground. In this way, siblings can focus on meeting parents' requests and avoiding disagreements, since they have already given them instructions on what they should do for them. Because this is such a vulnerable time for the older parent, as they lose their independence and leadership role within the family, the family must include the older person to the extent possible in their care decisions.
Mitchell explains how holding a simple family reunion can get everyone to agree on what they can contribute. Instead, focus the conversation on how they can support their primary caregiver, their sibling, rather than the parents directly. Clarifications from professionals can define next steps and prevent siblings from arguing about what care is necessary. Even if one parent agrees to care for the parent, there is still a decision as to which sibling should take the initiative in caring for the parent.
father. Or, if a sibling can't provide any type of assistance for the care of the elderly, they may be able to provide monetary assistance to pay for external care for the elderly. Including parents in the decision-making process to the extent possible can help with both family dynamics and family difficulties. If your siblings don't want to help with your aging parents, you can turn to support groups for caregivers, community groups, non-profit organizations, or professional care services, such as nursing homes or home care.
Siblings should work together to understand future costs, make financial decisions, and set up upfront budgets for the long-term care of their parents for the elderly...